19 days in can seem like a lifetime. Admittedly it can be hard to always stay so positive. A good cry is needed from time to time. I've been going through a whirlwind roller coaster of positive and negatives. It's been crazy. I give myself that cry when it's needed, but then I take a few deep breaths and calm myself.

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"Each day is like a new grape; don't throw the whole bag away just because some were a little squished."

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     There's also good things happening to me. Realize that this situation will not control my life forever. I will be outside of these walls again. As a 17 year old, it is so hard to see something as catastrophic in our eyes that is so minute in the eyes of an elder. But it gets better, it gets easier, time goes by faster. I swear it gets better.

     I swear there are days you'll feel lonely, but also days that you'll be so overwhelmed with love and company. Each day is like a new grape; don't throw the whole bag away just because some were a little squished.

     This blog took a lot to write because I'm not just writing a book about my past events and reflecting, but I'm living them. Sometimes it's impossible to turn those events into words on a page. So here they are, my scrambled thoughts finally on this page and hopefully making sense. It's this blog that even forces me to sit down and realize that my mind is exploding in front of me and the readers.

     I've been making great progress treatment wise and should be out of the hospital soon. All of the love and support this blog generates makes it that much easier to push myself to write. I love you all, and thank you!

~ xo, Dakota