My jaw dropped and I started to cry. Those words had never been said to me. I should have realized that a negative PET scan meant remission, which meant no cancer, but I didn't. I skipped over the most positive thing a doctor could say to me and worried about everything that I could with my stem cell transplant. I didn't take everything in. I didn't realize that I had beat cancer...Read more
It's one thing to forget and move on, and it's an entirely different emotional state and feeling to move past
Taking a deep breath and moving on isn't always the solution. It doesn't always solve the problem for more than an hour. I faced watching my friends enjoying their final homecoming pep rally, football game, and homecoming dance this weekend. At first, I was devastated because I couldn't be there. I asked to be sent pictures but they all just made me more upset. Taking a deep breath and stepping away from my phone wasn't enough. Its was more than just one night of events. It felt like I was repeatedly being hit with the fact that I am missing my senior year. It felt impossible to escape the feeling of not being there. The feeling of missing something so important to me. I kept looking away and taking deep breaths, but that wasn't working this time.Read more
19 days in can seem like a lifetime. Admittedly it can be hard to always stay so positive. A good cry is needed from time to time. I've been going through a whirlwind roller coaster of positive and negatives. It's been crazy. I give myself that cry when it's needed, but then I take a few deep breaths and calm myself.Read more
One week down. This week has been a mental rollercoaster. Ups and downs the whole way. I was lucky enough to have my pick-line placed in my arm which is a 100 times more convenient than when it was in my leg. Score one for the ups. I am on my last day or two of chemo and I am still feeling great. Aside from the occasional nausea and head-aches, I've been pretty okay.Read more
As I sit in CHOP awaiting my room where I'll be firmly planted for the next month or so it's hard not to think about what I'll be missing. My favorite season, the coolest holiday, and of course the family that is unable to come see me. But there are ways to feel more connected.Read more
"Now I'll count before I stick you with the needle. One, two, three! All done! You did a great job"
I can’t tell you how many times I've heard these words. I completely understand the good intention and the fact that these people are saving my life, regardless of the little things they tend to say. I'm so thankful for these nurses that brighten my day and help me when I'm in need of assistance. They make my life easier. But I can't help but roll my eyes in an "Ugh, this again" fashion.Read more
I have been going back and forth on if I should publicly share the new information I received, since it is extremely personal. I decided at the end of the day that young girls walking in the same path I am will have to face this. So here it is:Read more
My senior English book has taught me more about life and how to handle my current emotions than any other book I’ve read. I find myself on an almost daily basis envying my classmates. The fact that they get to enjoy their senior year to the fullest, while I sit at home recovering from a stem cell treatment. Their lives will be consumed by school and looking at colleges, while mine will be filled with visits to the doctor and doing whatever I can to stay healthy.Read more
Dear Mom who reprimanded their child in Wawa for staring at me,
Your 5 year old with long beautiful hair and a mind which is yet to see all this big and mysterious world has in store for her was seeing (most likely for the first time) a girl with a weird white tube coming from her leg, and no hair!
It’s hard for her not to stare; she's trying to figure out what she's seeing.Read more
For a lot of hospitalized children, treatments can be harsh. Teen Kits make the hospital stay a lot more comfortable, and provide a huge boost during what may be the most difficult time of their life! Teen Kits, Lounges, and Social Activities lets these teens know that someone cares, and understands their challenges while they wait for the cure.Read more