My senior English book has taught me more about life and how to handle my current emotions than any other book I’ve read. I find myself on an almost daily basis envying my classmates. The fact that they get to enjoy their senior year to the fullest, while I sit at home recovering from a stem cell treatment. Their lives will be consumed by school and looking at colleges, while mine will be filled with visits to the doctor and doing whatever I can to stay healthy.
But I’ve realized that feeling envious isn’t something I should feel shame for experiencing. I should acknowledge the feeling, then detach myself from it. I can recognize all of the amazing things I have in my life; my family, my friends, and my second family at ARVF. This quote from "Tuesdays with Morrie" explains it all.
“Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “Alright, it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.”
It takes a lot to be able to step away from an emotion that is so consuming, but it’s important. When dealing with cancer, or a disease, or really just in any life situation it’s imperative to be able to step away and realize that you also have amazing things happening in your life. And things to be happy about.
For example; all of my friends are getting tattoos right now, and due to my current situation I obviously can’t get one. But being me and wanting to still have those little moments I decided to get a henna tattoo. Something that stains your skin for 2-3 weeks but never punctures it. It made me so happy to get it. While my friends are just appreciating their tattoo, I’m hypnotized by my henna.
Don’t let negative emotions consume you or your loved ones, go and enjoy the things that you CAN do.