Sense of Loss

     The hardest thing I am going through right now is a battle with my own mind. Every night I have been having the same dream. Every morning I wake up feeling a sense of loss and sadness. Every night I have a dream about having my long beautiful hair back, I dream about running my fingers through it and brushing it. Last night I dreamt about curling it and straightening it. Just the simple things most people find as a nuisance to perform, I miss doing myself. I miss being able to do these things.

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Past is Your Past

     For my final high school English grade, I have to create a Senior Memoir of my years in high school and what lessons I will be taking away. I feel as though I will be taking away a lot more from the past four years than ninety percent of my peers. Although not all of my lessons have stemmed from walking these halls, they have affected how I walk them.

 

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Be Unapologetically You

     It's funny how little I think about what I've gone through. My cancer. I finally have gotten to the point where I feel like I can walk amongst society and not have a huge light up sign pointing at me saying "CANCER". It's taken me a very long time to feel comfortable enough to say that. It really has.

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Back to Work

     This week I started working at Wawa. It has been such a blast. I didn't know if I would ever be physically able to work a job on my feet all day. I surprised myself with how much I could do and how good I felt. I was so worried my body would give up on me or do something to cause me to go to the hospital. But it didn't.

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Fighting My Way

     I spent my spring vacation drama free and in the company of some great people. Life has been turning around for me. My life is finally getting along after cancer. I'm happy again and I'm happy to be where I am. I'm still in treatment but I am able to work and go to school every day. 

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Biggest Supporter

     The more I look around the more I find that YOU are the person you need in life. YOU need to be your biggest supporter. Leaning on other people can be a mistake sometimes. It's important for you to be strong for yourself and no one else. 

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Memories

     Senior trip was this week. I had to take a deep breath and realize that it's not the end of the world that I was not on the trip. Seeing Snapchat stories and Facebook posts and Instagram posts, it was all too much. I cried a few times. I had a few hard nights.

 

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Makeup. Makeup. And More Makeup.

     Makeup was EVERYWHERE. I was in HEAVEN. Everywhere I looked my jaw dropped. The Sephora was gigantic. And the woman who did my makeup made me feel so special. 

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I'm Not As Healthy As I Think I Am

     I'm not as healthy as I think I am. I have been realizing that I think I'm invincible now. Which is very ironic considering I have been proven not to be.

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Terror and Excitement

     Life has gone on as normal for the past week. School has been steady and I've been spending time with friends. No news is good news.

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